Carnal Innocence

Was told to never let him touch it
Privates like military subordinates
Before I knew what touch was
In the dirty water trash can tubs
Was told
Idle hands meant trouble and sinful agendas
Would steal innocence before rain caught up with the storm.
the hunt and kill
Hands can be gatherers
Soul brakes for the soul grandma said
Whiplash

Was told to never touch it
Me, the molester
A kid playing in dirty water southern tubs
Intrigued by that attached flesh floating in between my legs
Mama slapped my hands when I touched it
Said she was going to tell Daddy if I didn’t stop
Report me to the law
Ruined my reputation
Because it was wrong
I was too young
I learned to obey only when someone was looking
A pedophile cuz I liked to touch my youth

And then in that bathroom
Ten years old
Like how it felt to touch it against the hard tiles
Against the bathroom curtains
How it felt in a bottle of Vaseline
Cold milk in the refrigerator
So I bothered, interfered, annoyed
Made indecent proposals of childish imagination
Assaulted
Until it cried
And then I became my own molester
Determined to keep the secret my own destruction

******************

Cyber Slavery

Sexual bidding,
fast cheap, catches
your eyes,
seductive dick or ass,
cute face
sculpted body,
bid,
wait,
negotiate
the meaningless exchanges of lust,
maybe you win
what you need at the moment,
ass or dick at a bargain,
take too long and it might disappear.

It’s just a game until you lose,
then it’s personal.
Horny and rejected,
you stare at your computer screen bitch about games/b.s.
when you know you looking at other offers.
EBay,
used men are cheap,
sex site the cyber slavery blocks,
statistical human trading for fast sex,
often soulless.

*****
The flowers that bud in the dark heat

Sir
In the beginning
I didn’t know what I was doing
I just knew I liked the difference
Boy
How far is one willing to go?
First, tasted like the forbidden
Then it came about doorways
Some keys worked better than others
One finger too many, balled themselves sneakily
And then the wave, crash, men giving orgasmic births
He is in,
I’m inDamn
He is in,
I’m in
No separation
My arm so far in him,
I forget my dick
Maybe on one level it was about forgetting my dick
He is in,
I’m in
I want to feel his soul,
see how far he is willing for me to travel
How far am I willing to go...
Once he is in,
I’m in
One finger too many, balled themselves sneakily
Legs spread like butter, massaging for murder
The small death the French call it
I want to die a little harder each time
When he is in, stroke my dick
Open my legs, feel every fingerprint, bone, flesh, fist so deep
Need to catch my breath
I hope I feel that good to him, when I’m in,
he is in
DamnTwisted, slowly gyrating and then pumping pull out
I’m opened
For real I’m opened; let’s see how far we can go
Your turn
Why do we do it?
Because some of us like hunting for rare flowers that bud in red light
See how far we can go, push, and accept
The unspoken fuck