In defense of the tragic fag

If I can’t reproduce with
held
years
And when I came
Back to perspective
Empty the trashcans on Tuesdays and Fridays
Watch sci-fi On lazy Sunday mornings
with no kids
Am I just a memory?
of you
think you are
Still going
what y
our father preaches
Is that it?
Or am I just family you didn’t adopt
Didn’t Sign
the papers,
we were
just was fucking
We just fucking/
What about the years?
Waiting for the passage to end
the greedy bottom always needing a bigger dick
fist
and I am not doing it no more


How is it you
Pay for breakfast but I can’t
Inherit your condo
Is this the war of love or is it
That I’m just that
towel
you deposed your lust
then quickly clean
I don’t want to be clean

In defense of the tragic fag
Who stayed when they said he was pretty
To figure out he wasn’t pretty
They always pretty
They are always pornography
Why I can’t be the whore
Who stayed in the game long enough?
To be respected
In the defense of the tragic
Waist 30, face like the motivation
Before the release
Died from
What’s ever current?
Did you solve the riddle?
In the defense of the tragic fag who keeps thinking
Of
Boys like me
When I never wanted to be
A boy like me
What happens when you figure I am a man?
Or you decide I’m just another tragic
Fag
Or is this poem about you

Watersports

White tickets when black inscription
in line for meat
Take a number to get serviced
Remember kill a bleeding god
Flower
for heart
Don’t need to peal you for the verdict
That night when the fireflies were committing
Suicide
To get closer to light at the end of the tunnel
I knew I loved you
That’s how I could only love you
How you so desperately wanting
To be those fireflies

I used to piss on your radio
The sad love songs of idiots
Didn’t like to get touched
How you made me want to be
Sleep gorgeously
You usually got my resistance
And then you said somebody
is going to love
Save me
I just wanted to piss on you
And secrets cuz we were more than the risk

If you fucked Sean

Is that the name he gave you?
Pasts
I used to think every time I went to sleep
I would become somebody
Else
Be yourself
What if wanted to be
Him
nine years old at the playground without the cops
Being called
Sean
Funny we keep trying to go back
He’s always trying to remind of the great fuck
Funny how men keep getting bored of their dick
New pornography
Funny he told me I would never be
satisfied
calls me that name
looking for that fuck
don’t remember
it takes a liter for me to forget everything
dick hard
like the destruction
love the destruction
want the destruction
it tells me I’m pretty

he plays games.

My ass stood at the edge of cradle like a baby rocking in precarious human black leather sling, hearing the lecture like hot piss in Texas in August saying drink it cuz this is as good as it gets. It would’ve been worse, if I would’ve chased door one. I wanted to scream at him that he was lying. He had no idea how to talk to me and I knew after that night we would never speak to me anymore. The hazel crossed-eyed handyman and his abandoned affirmed dream that a niggard boy like me only fits in that world that hangs on his wall. I smiled, still fighting for my happy-ending, still holding on.


I told him I didn’t invent the game, just perfected, and gave it a soul. What if I told you there is a game? And he would say he don’t play games. But what is the real definition of a game albeit rivalry for acceptance, rewards, glory and memory. The sperm leaves the dick for the race to fertilize the egg, & out of millions most time only one will see life. That’s the fucking game. Love is the fucking game. Acceptance is the fucking game. Niggard you still on the bench. You made cuz I didn’t play you game or beat you at your game. The gamble is different from the game. A gamble is poor self-esteem depending on luck to decide its future. Niggard, I am an athlete. I wake up to play this shit. And niggard, when I win, cuz I’m going to win, you will respect my game. The game is practicing for struggled talent to be victorious.

The fisting diet

The want
To purge, cleanse for trust, the mind
Encourage the body to not fear of letting go and letting in
The five fingers balled into aggression
Watching him sway
Fingerprints in the palm of his hand
In the mirror above
To massage the habitual discipline
Partaken for the struggle pleasure
Of bragging rights.

The want
Convincing of the first drink before heating the water
Two days before I planned for Thursday
The no ordinary fuck demands methodical preparation
The selfness of my vanity exerting power
Smiling like it’s so easy
When I practiced too much
So when you see my eyes
With your fist in me
I smile that shy pretty boy smile
When it’s really is my intention of wanting
The opening, a different form of connection
I had been pushing the boundaries
Love pushing shit
Like a bully
Shock value of see what I can do
Like David Blaine
What this bastard gonna do this time
There was never a need, just a want
To be a little more
me

And then it goes back to the want
Body modification of pushing the line a little farther
No real athlete is born overnight
And it’s just a sport,
Maintain the stamina
Make him think he has discovered some key
When you’ve secretly been practicing for marathon
To make it look so easy
Cuz there is no secret or key, just time
And wanting a different reality

We change we conscious force to
Catch up with particular kink

555 characters for the sex menu

Lonely Saturday night
Naked on bed petting my laptop
When he said
Ordering in and eating out, reassign the lust
Into symbols, letters or grammar marks
that represents
Intention
when encoded can pimp the computer for fucking
his character: check off boxes and seductive advertisement
like the dirty magazine in the back of men closets
it could never be so simple the life of single men
not wanting the same meal twice

friendship is common interest that begets reoccurring memories
I don’t want to be your friend, that could take years
I just want to fuck
No head games, no slut freaks
Cumdumps who think getting high is sex
Dirty
Freak bitch left my attitude at work
I took off my clothes the second I knocked on his door
He said on the computer screen
Ordering in or eating
Fast food or sit down or the entire course meal
I said Tonight is thanksgiving
I want to milk the cow

Ten seconds backwards

I fell from the open hand
“bitch you shouldn’t have bee standing there”
He was rushing to get somewhere I was in the way
“you ain’t priceless”
Flea marketing itself

Still holding on
The possibility of god
Turn right instead of left
Broke
that irreplaceable vase
saw it soul in the pieces
Mama will forgive me after the beating
Funny how we keep moving forward
With the ability to heal
Cuz the soul has no boundaries
And the body wants to survive
It’s the spirit that’s suicidal

When humans-being do wrong
Meant to make mistakes
“he said you so beautiful”
Slid in without a doubt
But your head said maybe I should question
Saving him
Or me
But you thought saving him cuz you were clean
He slid in but did he think the same
Ten seconds backwards
Pushing
That lifetime forward
Was he trying to save you?
or was he dead
dead dick
they should call them dead dick
the anything goes crowd
Ten seconds backwards in hindsight
Monday morning free clinic regret
Fucking dead dick

Sex changes

If I
fuck
vice versa
moon draws the tide
Energy
like your freak
mouth
Sex changes
confusion
arrogance
Stars
Just wanting the release
No longer
Kid
Man
For another man
challenging
sex


never mind, drunk hooking up is not always grammatical or correct

skin
makes them burn crosses
forget mothers
fall
wrestle
with the diamond
make them forget about how
pissed their tomorrow is going to be
at that nagger yesterday
cuddling fire
you may need a cold shower
to just get you harder
get harder


skin
Hostage
Aggressive attitude
uninhibited
Don’t talk dirty
Be dirty
Wanting to be loud
moaning silence
fill the spaces
he felt but you
wanted to make sure you were there
can’t tame your dick
how you ever going to tame him

Eyeworkhere

The crazy shit
High and jacking off
How I want con my childhood
Vive versa
Cuz this is so grown shit
Some secret shit
What the fuck
You only run and go tell
Cuz they don’t know
Did
So does lies
But I am down for life
I will never tell until the price
Is right


that thief down
that con down
that drug addict
guess you can’t outrun the 13th step
funny how
I’d be the first to tell you
Fucking changes
Rebellion to attention whore
That wants to be act or
Reverberating bad porn
But want to be respected
To the hustler who realize the body is
The soul
To the jaded
Soared ass and dick and pussy
You tired your body as much it would hold
Cuz your were never whole
Go find you god now
Fake reborn
So
Bitch
I wanted this for you
I wanted this for you
Remember that
I wanted this for you

An ode to the cyber sex shopping and stalkers

no money
debauchery
Bored
Low sales prophets
Wrestling
rejected dick
placid
get hard if I don’t want too
Infection
sex no more
Sticking loneliness
Press play
alone, again
Cold
Ingenious Window lusting\
sex
comfortable
Designer laptop
and pretend
no Mind


easy
howl
many moons go empty
Afraid of the shape of suns

Cyber lube
Refreshing
The “I’m fucking horny.”
button
Indecisiveness.

An ode to the Young queens and old heads

The everything to prove
Starts bashing in streaming lights
Souls searching for like-minds
A body demanding validation
Fearlessness
When we’re young
Before the sellout
They keep bullying
Grow the fuck up
They will keep
score
of your irresponsibility


The last call
Gets lonely, before often fleeting
Give into
Wasting cells
decades just to bury it
And write the eulogy of arrogant ghosts
When it wanted you, so back the fuck off
To the bashing stream lights
A body demeaning validation
Now fearful
When the loneliness reminds you of your birth
Now you want him
Now you want to be seen
In the begging you just wanted your dick sucked
Everybody was young for a second
Let’s see how you live your age

The middle,
Always disappear when it
Stops being about
Always come back
When it wants
To matter
Ask James Dean
Never mind, that nagger dead

Tear

Tear
Or tear
Before you met me
I was trying to get here
And now
Tear
Or tear

I tried to understand rain
Or intention of too much
Trying to be recognize
And now you
Tear
Or tear
As I want
And how
You tear
Or tear

only
If you tear
Or tear
So make me real

only
If you tear only
If you tear
Or tear
So make me real

Or tear
So make me real

Freak

Something crashing to create rapture
I can’t change my natural reservation
No perfect world
Can’t get my dick hard enough
If fucking just mean I am just there
No romance homo
No white fangs

Anything goes

stopped caring for
Fucking to nothingness
His saliva
Is hooker maid hotel nightmares
The shit
He leaves behind
Maybe that was the point
His destructive
addiction
auditioning
the moment I put head in between your legs
not for the obvious
just to be held
but the scent of your fading lust
and eyes that didn’t want to watch the time
you said anything
went
I guess you were lying
Like your status

“are you looking to party? coming now?

p11: yeah bullshitter just like the rest of the fucking city

bathswithoutsoap: i will sit this one out so i can get my head together.

p11: that is cool with me, let me know if you are for real coming and when?

bathswithoutsoap: i will not party today, i have appointments tomorrow, that's why i'm being a little reserved.


Cuz I knew he wanted
Sloppy second emotions

And I was trying to
Be a better
fag

Talking his panties off

Saw this boy on the train purple line in Chicago
college quarterback,
knew that by the jersey number
no more than nineteen years old
Bold with his hands slapping, jockstrap revealing in his
White tightened pants, knees pads pushing forward to bend
All I could imagine him was in raining sky blue
Victor secret panties in yellow timberlands
But I knew he had a secret how he tried to not make eye contact
And how he held his friend confidence close
Me, twenty five years old, corporate exec already bored
Of crate and barely
Been fucking everything
since I found my erection
I think about sex too much
my dick
so hard
lusting about
taking his panties off

555 characters for the sex menu

Under a hundred words to disprove or prove
Dirty sexy thrust
Lonely in-between erection
Naked on bed petting mahogany laptop
When he said
Ordering in and eating out, reassign the lust
Into symbols, letters or punctuation marks
That represents
Intention
When encoded can pimp the computer for fucking
His character: check off boxes and seductive advertisement
Like the dirty magazine in the back of men closets
It could never be so simple the life of single men
Not wanting the same meal twice
Fast food or sit down or the entire course meal
How hungry am I?


Conspicuously looking at the sex menu
Smile at the wait but don’t want
Friendship: Common interest that begets reoccurring memories
Could take years to really know somebody
But bad day seconds to piss them off forever
Like overcooked egos
Nobody wants to know the ingredients
With lonely in-between erections
Some foods no matter how bad I go back
Some fools I will never try again
Especially when I’m not starving and can cook my own meals
But I don’t often like eating alone
Especially if the fuck is good and the ambience, silent like food should be

funny now lust works tantrum kid in McDonald
who didn’t get his dick with the happy meal